The Second Wife by Elizabeth Buchan

Author:Elizabeth Buchan
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9780141926360
Publisher: Penguin Adult
Published: 2008-11-02T16:00:00+00:00

‘No story tonight,’ I said to the boys. ‘I want to talk you.’ They were scrubbed, shining, hopeful. ‘It’s about Daddy.’

Two pairs of trusting eyes fixed on me. I patted Felix’s bed. ‘Come and sit beside me.’

Felix settled on my right, Lucas on my left. I put my arms round them and held on tight. Felix wriggled free, slid down and fetched The Very Hungry Caterpillar. He held it out to me with both hands. I shook my head. ‘No story tonight, Felix… Daddy…’ I faltered, and stopped. ‘He…’ I was searching for the words – the right words, the best possible ones. I was searching for control. That I must exert. I was searching to help them travel through a grief-stricken future.

‘Daddy.’ Lucas was confident and giggly ‘Our daddy?’

‘Yes, your daddy.’

Felix picked up Blanky, hauled it up and climbed back into a position against me: a warm, surprisingly solid weight for his size.

‘Daddy loved you very much,’ I said, and pulled them closer, ‘and he will always be with us, but I’m afraid something’s happened to him…’ I choked and struggled to continue. ‘He got very ill, and his heart couldn’t beat and he died. He’s gone away and he won’t be coming back.’

Lucas burst into tears. ‘He promised to come to the football.’

I experienced an overwhelming sense of heaviness and defeat. ‘Lucas, Daddy can’t come to the football.’ I took his little hand and stroked it. ‘He would have come if he could.’

‘Where’s he gone to?’ Lucas’s sobs were panicky.

‘He’s gone up into the sky. He can probably see us, and he’ll think about you all the time. I’m going to take care of you, and we shall be together. And we’ll think about him a lot, won’t we, boys?’

Felix wriggled out of my embrace and went to the window. ‘Naughty Daddy,’ he said angrily.

‘Daddy’s not naughty, Felix,’ I said. ‘He couldn’t help it.’

‘Naughty, naughty’ Felix repeated. Then he said, ‘There’s Tigger in the street.’

‘Come back, Felix.’

But he shook his head and remained stubbornly by the window. Lucas sighed and looked up at me. ‘Does that mean we’ll be a getting a new daddy to drive the car?’

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